rush
by Layne Muffins
Summary: "My pain is knowing I can't have you." Kenji Yamaguchi knows it is not his place to fall in love with a girl someone else loves. With a girl who will never love him. When caught in the rain one day with Shizuku, Yamaken finds that he might be falling for this girl. Falling faster and harder than he bargained for. Song-fic: Blame It On The Rain. one-sided Yamaken/Mizutani AU-ish.
1. caught in all this mess

**A.N. So I recently finished the anime Tonari No Kaibutsukun, and I'm reading the manga. While watching the show, I took quite the liking to Yamaken and was inspired to write for him. I haven't finished the manga yet, so instead of worrying about inaccuracies, _let's call this AU_. **

**This is will be a completely new style of story formatting. Some chapters will be longer, some could be several pages long. And some -like this one- will only be a few paragrahps. **

**The Song: (youtube . com) /watch?v=c934GPLrgcA**

**Inspiration: /watch?v=GgjL3aTLk6A **

**(this video is FLAWLESS. Go check it out now, it actually hurts my shipper heart; it's wonderful.)**

**updates: once a week, most likely Saturday. But I might put up the next chapter sooner since this one was so short.**

Shizuku.

Shizuku Mizutani.

What is it about this seemingly emotionless girl that is so interesting?

Kenji doesn't know, doesn't pretend to know. But he does know that he doesn't want to be caught in the crossfires of a love triangle. Let alone with someone like Haru.

Let alone with a girl that will never love him.

But love is too big of a word, too big for Kenji's curiosity when he refuses to acknowledge the heat on his face, the pounding of his heart.

Just who is this girl to do this to him?

**caught in all this mess**


	2. rain

Kenji Yanaguchi refuses to admit to a lack of navigational skills, simply refuses.

Even now, wandering around from after a visit to his father's company, he is not lost. He is merely enjoying the environment, seeing the oft unseen sights of the world. Valuing the overlooked. And because of that, he is mistakenly pegged as 'lost'.

There's a crackle above him and Kenji glances up passively to meet dark skies and a roar of thunder. He retrieves the green and gray striped umbrella from his bag, shielding himself from the rain to come. And rain it does.

But this downpour will not halt his wanderings. There is only silence and empty promises at home and he has no desire to return to such.

(Can he even call it a home? They say home is where the heart is, and his does not linger there.)

It is only a few minutes before the rain hits and Kenji is grateful he thought to carry the umbrella around. And the world looks so different in the rain. The chirps of birds and the buzz of insects hush, as if to listen to nature's lullaby. As if to merely watch the water like diamond droplets that dot the ground.

This part of town is familiar, but Kenji continues his meandering. Because this place is familiar.

Familiar for a certain girl.

To his right is the wide river, red railing and all. He exhales and turns his gaze away from the water, the water that hums from the constant beating of the rain. And he meets a peculiar sight that causes his heart to drop.

She stands under a tree, shoulders straight. There is a look of aggravation masked by indifference on her porcelain face. She is tapping her foot, blinking slowly. She is doused, the water plopping down on her through the leaves of the tree she stood under, but not soaked; she might've taken shelter under the oak before the torrential downpour fell.

Slowly, he makes his way to her, thoughts still. As they always are when she's around.

(Though when in solitude, she crosses his mind with the companion of a fury of contradictory thoughts.)

"Oi."he says simply and she turns those caramel eyes on his. He almost forgets to say something. "Need an umbrella?"

"No." she shakes her head and takes a step from under the tree, receiving a cold slap in the face from the rain. She shivers, but continues to walk onward, ignoring the chill of the water. Kenji quickens his pave to catch her and holds out his umbrella.

"Please. Take it."

"No." she replies, but Kenji can hear her teeth chattering and her lips are tainted blue. "It's your umbrella. I forgot mine, and this is what I get."

Eyes wide, he reaches for Shizuku's waist and pulls her into his side. His cheeks heat up and he swallows hard. _Why_ would he do that?

"Thank you," sh breathes, her voice almost a whisper. "But your clothes are all wet now."

Kenji finally acknowledges a cool dampness against his side where Shizuku stands; the prescence of herself had almost blinded him to his surroundings and even himself. "You're one to talk! You're soaked head-to-toe!"

"It doesn't matter." she shrugs, staying close to Kenji as he escorts her to her house. "After all-"

A loud crash causes her to jump as light flashes. She lets out a squeak and grabs Kenji's hand pulling him as she races forward. Startled, Kenji almost stops but looks down at their interlocked fingers and runs with her. She turns sharply and jogs up a concrete staircase before slowing down at a tan door. She pulls out a key ring and fumbles a bit, still shaky from the lightning. She takes a deep breath and looks up at Kenji under her eyelashes and he winces and turns away before she can see his reddened cheeks. She unlocks the door and enters, leaving it open for him to follow.

He looks around the small living room that greets him; he's never seen her home before. It is smaller and yet much lovelier than his. It is homely and it looks lived in, with the blankets on the couches, as opposed to his spotless manor. There is a candle burning on the kitchen counter that gives an aroma smelling of cinnamon and the atmosphere is a gracious warm one that Kenji appreciates after the chill before. He watches as Shizuku slips out of her blazer and rests it in the sink before disappearing to a back room. Kenji gnaws on his bottom lip, glancing around the house once more before she returns with a pile of clothes.

"These are my father's. They might be a bit big, but they're from his younger years." She blinks and hands Kenji the clothes and points at a door that must be the bathroom.

"Thank you," he nods and crosses over to the bathroom. Slipping out of his coat and shirt, he pulls the gray tee over his head. He swaps his soaked white trousers for a pair of blue jeans that are a bit too wide and uses a cream colored towel hanging on a rack to dry his honey hair. The clothes are indeed a smidgeon to large, but they fit surprisingly well. He leaves the room and enters the family room where he spots Shizuku seated on the couch, her uniform traded for sweatpants and a striped tee. She glances up at him and stands, smiling almost. She grabs an umbrella from the basket by her door and crosses to him.

"You can return those later." She nods and goes to unlock the door. The lights flicker and she pauses. A pitch black fills the room and she sighs. "Heh. I suppose that means that the afternoon rain has turned into something worse. I can't let you out in that. Why don't you make yourself comfortable on the couch; I'll go light some candles.

Kenji grins in the dark, grateful she can't see. But he tones down such excitement to say, "Sure. Thanks."

Guided by the candlelight, Shizuku makes way to the kitchen where she pulls out several candles from the cupboards along with matches. Kenji watches as she attempts to strike the little wood sticks, but fails each time. She sighs and looks over at him. "Yamaken, help please?"

He takes the box and match from her hands and successfully lights the five candles.

"Thanks."

"Mmhmm."

There's a flash of light from the windows that illuminates the room for a heartbeat and a crash of thunder that sends Shizuku flying for the couch where she dives under the blanket. Confused and slightly amused, Kenji sits on the couch next to her bundled form, starting at the cocoon she's crafted to cower in. "You don't like storms, do you?"

"N-No! That's not it!" She protests, voice muffled by the cloth.

"Yeah okay." Kenji rolls his eyes and frowns. There's another crackle and he hears a sob. Bewildered, he faces the bundle of a girl and awkwardly places on a hand on her back. He's never been good at comforting people; he's not sure what to do. "When I was younger, my nanny was from Florence. She always told me the greatest fables of the deities. And on one stormy night, she tucked me into bed and whispered to me the myth of thunder. The gods, she said, were always quarreling. Even though they were family," Kenji pauses and he can't help but think of his family as those ancient ones. "Sometimes the arguments would escalate to actual fighting and when their bodies would clash in anger, the sound was monstrous. To the humans below, it was thunder. It was scary. When their divine powers met, they would stray down past the heavens. Jupiter's lightning would scar the earth and Neptune's waves would flood the streets and Pluto's darkness would litter the sky.

"Their fighting made the earth very sad and the clouds would weep. Even if they were powerful beings with abilities so amazing and almighty, they were family. They would see their mistakes, eventually and stop. It was Isis then, the messenger of the gods, that brought about a rainbow to show the earth below that the fighting had stopped. The storm was over."

Shizuku's eyes meet Kenji's from a gap in the blankets, caramel beauties wide and shining with some sort of awe. She turns herself around, squirming under the quilt and situates herself so that her head is leaning on Kenji's shoulder. His eyes go wide and his breathing is almost labored. His face warms but he does nothing. Several minutes go by, or is it seconds? It could be hours, really. However long, Kenji does not know. But he does know that his heart has never been this ready to burst. And the pounding of the rain on the windows is a sweet lullaby and the flickering faint light of the candles is lulling him to sleep and it isn't long (or is it?) before his eyelids become heavy and he falls asleep to the warm scent of the girl's hair on his shoulder.

* * *

"Yamaken." He groans and rubs his eyes with the heel of his hand as he slowly comes to his senses. Before him ss a poker-faced Shizuku with an umbrella held out. "Thank you for walking me home yesterday. I'll see you around."

He almost scowls at her; it was too early to wake him in such a manner. He snatches the umbrella and quickly changes into his own clothes before leaving the little house. He pauses by the door, "Er. Thanks, Shizuku."

And then he leaves.

**rain**

**A.N. Okay you guys, three reviews?! That's AMAZING. I mean, it was a little drabble only a few paragrapghs long. Wow. You guys, I love you guys. Stay beautiful.**


	3. my pain is knowing

**A.N. So I'm waaaaay past the due date when I was supposed to upload this, but I was sick and busy and I'm sorry. Forgive me. :I**

**Anywhoodles. I have a tumblr. Which allows me to do a lot more with the readers like respond to comments better or talk about story progression or whatever! Give me a follow? **

**writerlayne tumblr com**

**(I'm sure you know where the dots go, mmhmm. Or just check the link on my profile.)**

That night plays in loops in Kenji's head, those big brown eyes and that head that rested on his shoulder. He can't shake it and he doesn't think he wants to, really. And that scares him because he's never felt this way about any girl before. It's not love; it's just annoying, mounting (escalating) interest. Not even hardly a petty crush. Kenji refuses to admit to any romantic feelings towards that girl who fell asleep on his shoulder.

He's walking home from his father's office again, and it isn't raining; there's not even a trace of gray in the sky. The heavens are so blue, it's hard to believe yesterday had happened. It's hard to believe that he ever walked her home in that storm.

The storm that could've been something he merely conjured up in his imagination.

(But then again, he ponders, why would he even fabricate such a bizarre reverie.)

He is walking and he spots a pair parallel to him, a pair of faces he'd rather not see at the moment. (At any time, really. But especially in this moment.) And it's not her face that irks him. No, it is her face smiling softly, almost discretely, at his.

Haru beams at her, flashing his white teeth, cackling at something she mutters. Kenji's breath catches in his throat and he decides to turn around, to hurry on his way, to pretend he never saw the two. To go on with his day without an awkward encounter. But it is too late for that, when Haru's eyes catch his.

There is no avoidance now.

The blonde sighs to himself, gritting his teeth in frustration.

But he is not in the mood for antics and chooses to simply nod at him, and to give the smallest of smiles to Shizuku, carrying on his way.

The nod is met with cold steely eyes, a warning laced in the gray. And Kenji knows that this girl is untouchable. This girl was never his and this girl can never be his. This girl is taken and this girl is smitten.

(Even if she does not know it yet.)

Kenji Yamaguchi knows he cannot have this girl. This upsets him; he is so used to getting what he wants. He curses that stupid thing beating in his chest for falling for such a person. A person so far gone, only heartache waits on the horizon. And when the skies fade black and the credits roll, Kenji knows that it will not be his love song sung.

**my pain is knowing**


	4. does she?

**A.N. Sorry for lateness, guys. My bad. :/ And this chapter is short which means I suck even more. Really sorry. **

Does she look at Haru the way Kenji looks at her?

In all his wonder with the girl, he never observed her around his rival. (This isn't a surprise to Kenji; Haru doesn't like his company when the runway is with her. And the feeling is quite mutual for Kenji.)

Does Haru look at her the way Kenji looks at her?

Does Haru see a bundle of frustration held in place by a sense of splendor, a spark of mystery? Does Haru see a girl so emotionless and blunt with a glimmer of beautiful potential hidden in those caramel eyes?

(Kenji does.)

But he does not know how a lover looks at his darling. His father never even glances at his mother anymore. Kenji does not know how true love looks when it shines earnestly in the eyes of a heart gone head-over-heels. How is he supposed to know if he looks at Shizuku the way she looks at Haru? How is he supposed to know if he looks at her the way Haru looks at her?

He doesn't even know how he looks at her.

And he can't compare loving gazes when he's sure he doesn't even have one.

(But then he wonders if she ever blushes when she's around him like Kenji does near her.)

And there's something empty like disappointment settling in his stomach because he's so sure she doesn't.

**does she?**


End file.
